For parents of children aged 4–8

What feels hard today?

Pick what's happening, from big feelings to losing a game, and get something simple to try with your child today.

Child-friendly illustration about understanding big feelings
5-minute ideas • Real-life situations • No perfect answers • Made for ages 4–8

Book of the Week

Hands Are Not for Hitting

By Martine Agassi

A calm, practical look at all the helpful things hands can do when feelings get big.

  • Big feelings
  • Kindness
  • Self-control

Try asking

“What else could hands do here instead?”

Try this together: Make a list together of five helpful things hands can do, and pick one to try today.

A new Growing Wise book pick every week. Read it, talk about it, practise it.

Books & ideas

Books and ideas for tricky moments

Does losing turn into tears or anger?

Cover of The Most Magnificent Thing by Ashley Spires

The Most Magnificent Thing (Ashley Spires)

A child tries, fails, gets frustrated, steps away, and comes back to it: a real model for not getting it right first time.

View on Amazon →
Cover of The Girl Who Never Made Mistakes by Mark Pett and Gary Rubinstein

The Girl Who Never Made Mistakes (Mark Pett & Gary Rubinstein)

Useful for talking about what happens when being afraid of a mistake starts getting in the way of trying or enjoying things.

View on Amazon →
Cover of Little Decision Makers by Medha Khare Growing Wise workbook

Little Decision Makers (Medha Khare)

A pencil-and-paper companion to the free Growing Wise game, giving children a losing scenario to practise the "stop, think, choose" pause.

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Do sharing or arguments turn into tears?

Cover of Princess Rose Strawberry and Miss Muffin Growing Wise original

Princess Rose Strawberry and Miss Muffin

A picture book from Growing Wise.

Discover the book →
Cover of The Invisible Boy by Trudy Ludwig

The Invisible Boy (Trudy Ludwig)

Starts a conversation about noticing a child who's left out, and the small things that help someone feel included.

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Cover of A Friend for Henry by Jenn Bailey

A Friend for Henry (Jenn Bailey)

Henry wants a friend, but experiences the classroom and friendship a little differently to his classmates: a gentle way into talking about sensory and social differences.

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Cover of Hands Are Not for Hitting by Martine Agassi

Hands Are Not for Hitting (Martine Agassi)

Talks directly and calmly about what hands can do instead of hitting, without shaming a child for the impulse during conflict.

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Does a change of plan throw off the whole day?

Cover of The Koala Who Could by Rachel Bright and Jim Field

The Koala Who Could (Rachel Bright & Jim Field)

A bendy koala learning to loosen up gives a light, rhyming way into a conversation about change, without it feeling like a lecture.

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Cover of The Rabbit Listened by Cori Doerrfeld

The Rabbit Listened (Cori Doerrfeld)

A tower she built is unexpectedly knocked down. Other animals rush in with advice, but it's the rabbit who simply listens: a gentle model for the moment a plan falls apart.

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Cover of Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst

Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day (Judith Viorst)

A classic about a day where nothing goes to plan from the moment Alexander wakes up: reassuring for a child convinced today is uniquely unfair.

View on Amazon →
Read tonight

Classics you probably already have

No need to buy anything new. Pick a favourite from the shelf, read it together, then try two or three of our questions.

Cover of The Gruffalo by Julia Donaldson and Axel Scheffler Ages 3–6

The Gruffalo (Julia Donaldson & Axel Scheffler)

Feeling scared, and using your wits

Questions to ask →
Cover of The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle Ages 2–5

The Very Hungry Caterpillar (Eric Carle)

Growing and changing, and waiting for something good

Questions to ask →
Cover of We're Going on a Bear Hunt by Michael Rosen and Helen Oxenbury Ages 2–6

We're Going on a Bear Hunt (Michael Rosen & Helen Oxenbury)

Keeping going when something is hard, and facing fears together

Questions to ask →
Cover of Room on the Broom by Julia Donaldson and Axel Scheffler Ages 3–6

Room on the Broom (Julia Donaldson & Axel Scheffler)

Making room for others, and friends who stick together

Questions to ask →
Cover of Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown and Clement Hurd Ages 0–4

Goodnight Moon (Margaret Wise Brown & Clement Hurd)

Winding down at bedtime, and settling to sleep

Questions to ask →
Cover of The Cat in the Hat by Dr. Seuss Ages 3–7

The Cat in the Hat (Dr. Seuss)

Making choices when no grown-up is watching, and owning up afterwards

Questions to ask →
Cover of Stick Man by Julia Donaldson and Axel Scheffler Ages 3–6

Stick Man (Julia Donaldson & Axel Scheffler)

Missing home or family, and being away from people you love

Questions to ask →
Cover of Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss Ages 3–7

Green Eggs and Ham (Dr. Seuss)

Trying new foods and new things before deciding you don't like them

Questions to ask →
Cover of Zog by Julia Donaldson and Axel Scheffler Ages 3–6

Zog (Julia Donaldson & Axel Scheffler)

Keeping going after mistakes, and finding what you are good at

Questions to ask →
Cover of The Snail and the Whale by Julia Donaldson and Axel Scheffler Ages 3–6

The Snail and the Whale (Julia Donaldson & Axel Scheffler)

Children who feel small, or too little to make a difference

Questions to ask →
Cover of Tiddler by Julia Donaldson and Axel Scheffler Ages 3–6

Tiddler (Julia Donaldson & Axel Scheffler)

Tall tales, telling the truth, and imagination

Questions to ask →
Cover of The Tiger Who Came to Tea by Judith Kerr Ages 2–6

The Tiger Who Came to Tea (Judith Kerr)

Coping calmly when plans change unexpectedly

Questions to ask →
Cover of Elmer by David McKee Ages 2–6

Elmer (David McKee)

Children who feel different or want to fit in

Questions to ask →
Cover of Not Now, Bernard by David McKee Ages 3–7

Not Now, Bernard (David McKee)

Feeling ignored, and talking about listening to each other

Questions to ask →
Cover of Peace at Last by Jill Murphy Ages 2–5

Peace at Last (Jill Murphy)

Bedtime, and staying patient when things keep going wrong

Questions to ask →
Cover of The Day the Crayons Quit by Drew Daywalt and Oliver Jeffers Ages 3–7

The Day the Crayons Quit (Drew Daywalt & Oliver Jeffers)

Seeing things from someone else's point of view

Questions to ask →
Cover of The Tiny Seed by Eric Carle Ages 3–7

The Tiny Seed (Eric Carle)

Patience, feeling small, and keeping going

Questions to ask →
Cover of Oi Frog! by Kes Gray and Jim Field Ages 3–6

Oi Frog! (Kes Gray & Jim Field)

Rhyming fun, and talking about rules and speaking up

Questions to ask →
Cover of Supertato by Sue Hendra and Paul Linnet Ages 3–6

Supertato (Sue Hendra & Paul Linnet)

Bravery, helping others, and a lot of laughs

Questions to ask →
Cover of A Great Big Cuddle by Michael Rosen and Chris Riddell Ages 0–5

A Great Big Cuddle (Michael Rosen & Chris Riddell)

Joining in with rhymes and sounds, and sharing feelings

Questions to ask →
Cover of Tad by Benji Davies Ages 3–6

Tad (Benji Davies)

Growing up at your own pace, and being brave about change

Questions to ask →
Cover of Fair Shares by Pippa Goodhart and Anna Doherty Ages 3–6

Fair Shares (Pippa Goodhart & Anna Doherty)

What's fair, and why fair isn't always the same

Questions to ask →
Cover of Pumpkin Soup by Helen Cooper Ages 3–7

Pumpkin Soup (Helen Cooper)

Sharing jobs, falling out and making up with friends

Questions to ask →

All 666 book guides →

Play together

Board games that build life skills

Games for ages 3 to 8, each chosen for a skill it practises at the table: losing well, waiting, taking turns and asking good questions.

Box of My First Castle Panic by Fireside Games Ages 4–8

My First Castle Panic (Fireside Games)

Cooperative play with no reading required

See on Amazon →
Box of Hoot Owl Hoot by Peaceable Kingdom Ages 4–8

Hoot Owl Hoot (Peaceable Kingdom)

Cooperative colour-matching for younger children

See on Amazon →
Box of Count Your Chickens by Peaceable Kingdom Ages 3–8

Count Your Chickens (Peaceable Kingdom)

Very young children practising a shared goal

See on Amazon →
Box of Race to the Treasure! by Peaceable Kingdom Ages 5–8

Race to the Treasure! (Peaceable Kingdom)

Slightly older children who want more strategy in cooperative play

See on Amazon →
Box of HABA Orchard by HABA Ages 3–6

HABA Orchard (HABA)

The youngest children, or a very short first game

See on Amazon →
Box of Rhino Hero by HABA Ages 5–8

Rhino Hero (HABA)

Staying calm when a wobbly tower falls

See on Amazon →
Box of Jenga by Hasbro Gaming Ages 6–8

Jenga (Hasbro Gaming)

Careful hands, and laughing when the tower falls

See on Amazon →
Box of KerPlunk by Mattel Ages 5–8

KerPlunk (Mattel)

Patience, turn-taking and suspense

See on Amazon →
Box of Pop Up Pirate by TOMY Ages 4–8

Pop Up Pirate (TOMY)

Taking turns, and handling a surprise

See on Amazon →
Box of Shopping List by Orchard Toys Ages 3–7

Shopping List (Orchard Toys)

First turn-taking and matching for little ones

See on Amazon →
Box of Dragomino by Blue Orange Ages 5–8

Dragomino (Blue Orange)

Simple strategy and making choices

See on Amazon →
Box of Zingo! by ThinkFun Ages 4–8

Zingo! (ThinkFun)

Quick matching rounds, and winning or losing gracefully

See on Amazon →
Box of Dobble by Asmodee Ages 6–8

Dobble (Asmodee)

Quick thinking, and laughing off a lost round

See on Amazon →
Box of Guess Who? by Hasbro Gaming Ages 6–8

Guess Who? (Hasbro Gaming)

Asking good questions and listening to the answers

See on Amazon →
Box of Pop to the Shops by Orchard Toys Ages 5–8

Pop to the Shops (Orchard Toys)

Counting money and taking turns in a pretend shop

See on Amazon →

All 15 board games, by skill →

Try a tiny decision

What would your child choose?

Maria stands at the edge of the playground with her backpack on, watching two children play with a blue ball.

Maria sees another child playing with a toy she likes. What should she do?

Everyday practice

Read, play, practise

Two children sitting together at a table with drawing materials

Read together

Pause at tricky moments and ask, “What could they try next?”

Child playing with colourful stacking blocks

Play together

Use play to practise sharing, turn-taking and working things out together.

Child pointing at a picture communication board

Practise together

Try one small situation while everyone is calm.

Why Growing Wise?

Built by a mum, former teacher and software engineer

Growing Wise grew from wanting a calmer way for children to practise big feelings, friendships and everyday choices before the real moment arrives.

Read more about Growing Wise →

Free for every family

If Growing Wise has helped you and your child, you can support it with a one-off contribution.

Support Growing Wise →

Growing Wise is an educational parent resource, not medical or therapeutic advice.

What would your child do? Free game